Addiction whether it’s drugs, alcohol, over eating, shopping, gambling, promiscuous sex, or any other kind of unhealthy, destructive, compulsive behaviour is not about the behaviour…it’s about disconnection…..and not only disconnection with others…. but MORE importantly disconnection with SELF. This disconnection can be caused in various ways:
- Loss of SELF-e.g. in an abusive relationship
- Compromising or sacrificing SELF-putting others needs before your own
- Conditioned into not being your SELF- i.e. trying to be someone else
- Never having known your SELF -lack of Emotional Intelligence regarding Self-awareness, Values, Purpose, and meaning in your life.
- Hating SELF-self-loathing, shame, guilt. The last thing addicts need from society is judgement, stigmatisation, and ostracisation which perpetuates and grows their self hate.
All of these consequences of ‘SELF’ can result in seeking solace from unhealthy behaviours. The addiction is the EFFECT the CAUSE is the disconnection from SELF. This is where the work needs to be focussed and where the solution lies.
The most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself.